Tuesday, 30 June 2015


Samadhi or orgasmic experience is an oceanic experience in mysticism. The drop merges in the ocean. Whatever exists as a description about that state is just a hint. There can't be any expression about a experience-less state. There exists no experience in Samadhi. There's no experiencer either. There's no duality or unity. Such words don't apply to that state.

Whatever is felt about Samadhi is either something experienced immediately before or after the Samadhi. Feeling childlike or recalling forgotten memories or forgetting yourself temporarily are some of the patterns experienced along with the extreme bliss before or after the Samadhi. 

It's strange to see that Samadhi or no-mind can be described as a no state by mind. You recall the state immediately before and after the Samadhi and then calculate that something like Samadhi happened. There's not much difference in going into deep sleep and going into Samadhi. There are no thoughts, feelings and memories in both of these states. Only difference is that you can enter consciously into the Samadhi. Becoming unconscious is also similar to Samadhi. Technically there's not much difference in the Samadhi's mystic experience and epileptic seizure but a mystic is very wise when compared to an ordinary epileptic patient and this is the only difference. 

Samadhi is interpreted as forgetfulness of egoic separate identity. Drugs, alcohol and other addictions also accomplish this partially. But it must be remembered that forgetting ego and its burden temporarily isn't really a goal but rather a side-effect of mystic Samadhi.

image: Samadhi

Conversation Dogs

His uncle loves absurdist cinema. He's a lover of surreal. He's a great auteur, a great raconteur and he creates things on the go. He's in a school which is also the place where his maternal grandmother lives. Now since he's bored he wants to leave. He finds that twilight outside is gloomy and dark. There are many dogs around and he's scared of dogs--he finds that his uncle comes to his rescue. 

He came to protect the kid on a scooter. But now kid is scared to death because uncle is driving way too fast. The kid says thank you to uncle and starts walking on his own. Now as kid walks among dogs he's trying to remember his real name. He soon finds that all the dogs disappear and he starts flying in the air. He keeps flying at a mild pace and reaches to a shop where his uncle is standing with Adit, Nupur and Rinku--all his old acquaintances. He feels like introducing his uncle to his old friends but they already know each other.

They're having a conversation. One of them says: "Attention is a requirement of self--it's part of self-love. Attention mongers are there because all people love their self. See even a man suffering from a very grave disease doesn't really want to die. This proves the love of Self. Though actually this love is for their true self; since they're identified with the body-mind--they think that they're body-mind; therefore they want people to give attention to their personalities--to their work--to their creations. Now, dependending on their tendencies they either try holding attention based on good deeds or bad deeds. Only those who have had enough of attention don't need it anymore." The kid is looking intently at the speaker--he wants to ask--what does he mean by those "who have had enough of attention?" Does he mean celebrities or sages? Neurobiology suggests that even when people outside think that celebrities are really fed-up with all the attention--actually they're not. This image is created by the media which makes you believe that they're really fed-up with it all. 

He was planning on asking this question when he observed that suddenly his uncle appears exactly like his friend Adit. He finds that it's getting late and he leaves for his place. Lying on the bed he keeps thinking about the conversation. 

He wakes up and goes to school. There he moves from class to class pretending that he's actually an inspector, whereas his intention was to meet good students. It's drizzling outside, weather is good and he drives his bike out after doing some test runs in the garden of the school. He feels some peculiar resistance going out of school as if something is holding him back. He keeps driving towards his home and tests the brakes of his new bike--he finds a brawl in a corner two kids are fighting. He overlooks them and keeps driving until he hears his name. He recognizes that it's his friend Ank. He stops and puts bike on the side stand. He walks towards those kids and in a quiet voice asks about the matter. He finds that his friend Ank had taken some money as a loan from the kid and has not returned it on time. This was the cause of quarrel. He returns money on behalf of his friend and they walk together towards his bike.  

He goes to sleep and finds himself in a maze. It's one of the most difficult mazes. If he moves even an inch he would fall from a great height. After an uphill struggle he reaches to the stairs which lead to the floor outside the maze but he finds a wolf standing on stairs--a menacing figure. As he moves back he again finds himself in the maze-trapped again. He feels that he is soon going to die. How did he reach to a place like this? As he was contemplating about this he starts recalling that he was in a seminar which was a kind of an advertising for a university. He was sitting there for a long time waiting for seminar to begin with his friend. He wanted to go to the bathroom but the attendant prohibited him from doing so suggesting that the seminar shall begin very soon. They were given a red drink. Hmm...was this concoction responsible for making him numb enough to get trapped in this maze? He asked himself. He kept recalling that his lean shrewd friend was doing many tricks. 

This friend had tricked many people. Don't you ever get bored beguiling people? He asked his friend. The shrewd friend responded not. He then asked the shrewd friend his whereabouts. He said that he was staying with some other friends at a far away place. 

He keeps recalling that this shrewd friend was present in another assembly, watching him closely. There were many people. A blind boy was urinating at odd place. When someone complained about this--someone else said that boy asks about the place to pee but since nobody tells him of a proper place to pee he pees at the place he finds suitable for peeing. If people find it discomfiting they should better point him to a more appropriate place for urinating. 

This was a parade. He's hearing some guns-shooting. A tall man who is wearing a red shirt is intently looking at his hand. Actually he's looking at his coral ring. He starts speaking to the tall man but soon the tall man forbids him from speaking. In an angry tone he says that he's still waiting for him to pay for that ring. Ah! Is he the Astrologer? Who is he actually? The tall man starts walking and asks him to follow. The tall man enters into a tall building. The boy watches him from the window. As the tall man is opening his account on his computer the boy wonders what neighbors might think of him since he's a peeping tom right now. He asks the Astrologer to let him inside his place. He opens the door and boy enters the place but he finds that the tall man has disappeared. He instead finds a cunning man who says that he was waiting for him. He offers the boy his future predictions for a low price. The boy senses his cunningness and leaves...he finds that he has to jump through a ridge in order to cross through this building.

He finds himself in a mosque and rice is being distributed there for common people. He thinks that he's hungry and might as well use some food but he finds the place a bit dirty. He drinks a lot of water from the tap besides the mosque. 

He finds this is a small town and only a few trains come and go in a day. He visits the school where 113 kids study. He finds that an IQ test was in progress. A girl has highest IQ. 

He reaches out to the pond in the school's garden. There are many lotuses blooming beautifully. A Bengali guy comes and hugs him. He wonders if he knows him or owes him something. He wonders if his tears are genuine. A logical guy passes nearby talking over his phone about phonies.  


I mean that's what monks are doing--they're afraid of close relations because they've suffered from pangs of expectations--so they avoid them--it's not as if they altogether run out of society. No, that's not the case. The social meme or gene whatever you would, still present in them needs them to socialize as much as in any other human being does. But they change the form of socializing--they randomly meet some persons and talk with them about God, about meditation and after-life and then walk away. When they're with those persons who were very likely having similar frequency as theirs--they were friendly with them but when they leave they forget them altogether.

This is how monks move from place to place, from one pilgrimage to other. Therefore they have no friends and they have no enemies either. They don't really want much out of relations, out of anyone...that's why they have neither enemies nor friends. But their social meme wants them to socialize as much as anyone else's. 

Similarly some people act on social platforms--on online forums--they've seen alpha and omega of relations--they've tasted its sweet and bitter juices. Now they interact randomly with people--using generic greetings--even when they're sincere in their appreciation or comments about each other's work of art they're never expecting much in return. It's just acting on meme of socializing. So people come a bit close but most of them come to realize that monks are not for close relations--they're random and they're sincere but aloof---this creates kind of unique relations--monks very briefly touch many many lives but soon disappear out of scenes. These kind of distorted relations are because of the fear of tasting bitter juices which they had tasted in the past and yet being unable to totally renounce all socializing is because a certain gene forces them to socialize.

He travels to the girl's place. Girl introduces him to her mom. She gives him a mirror. After a brief chit-chat he becomes wary of her neighbors who have suspecting glances. He thinks of parting. He wanted to spend some more time but his doubts don't let him do so. The girl looks into the water in the bucket to fathom the future. She's wearing white. He's wearing black. He has water splashes on his face; perhaps it was drizzling on the way.

As he walks down the aisle he looks into a mirror on porch. He finds that his beard has become grey. His anatomy is giving unto the time. He reaches his home and is insecure about the phone which is with his cousin. He might get a message from the girl anytime. Then he gets his phone from his cousin who was listening some songs. He tries to delete this message but somehow can't. The message is too exalting. He finds himself brooding over the future.

The monk realizes that destination was never the destination, it was wrongly assumed to be so. It was always a journey. It's always going to be a journey into the infinity, into the timeless. But the journey is more of joy than of effort now. Gone are the days of effort--now only joy pervades. He's often flying to the places. Sometimes some angels come and take him to some gardens to let him taste the forbidden fruits of knowledge and at others he flies on his own. 

He's standing in front of a betel-leaves shop with a school friend. They both eat a paan but these don't taste as good as they used to do earlier in Relonade. Both of them were working in Relonade. They had ordered these betel-masal-leaves to be sweet but they're not sweet. He arranges his bag and keeps the fairy-tales in his bag. Some other friends join them over there and he thinks of financial burdens as he's not earning much. He's a wonderful host. He has always been so. His friend offers to help but he declines and entertains all of the friends on his own.

He finally feels he's parting from his school friend. He says to him with a heavy voice and tears in his eyes--" I would visit you someday and we would stay together." His friend says that he had already suggested him to do so. 

Prior to this scene, he was in a strange home with his friend. He requests to his friend to extend his leaves so that they could be together for a longer period of time. His friend complies. They speak about their childhood adventures for a while and they feel nostalgic. They talk about state of affairs in society feeling that everyone wants to get rich quickly either by fair or by questionable means. As he starts leaving for betel-leaves shop he is unable to find his footwears. He meets a strange forgotten lady on the door who is cunning and clever.