Thursday, 3 November 2011

March Jauntiest interviewed by A Sandal Hunk!




DISCLAIMER:

"I cannot confirm or deny that anything the following prose says,  has any connection to any matter true or false or any event that has, is, or will occur in the history of the universe. Any similarity to an event or  with an actual existing person(s) is purely coincidental."





A Sandal Hunk: What are your hobbies?


March Jauntiest: Drinking, Smoking, watching girls, playing a broker for broken hearts and I am called master of non-vegetarian jokes by my colleagues!
Drinking, as-in vodka, whisky, wine, rum and not as in water!


A Sandal Hunk: Oh that is just great! I wonder why you don’t feel it awkward to use words like ‘fuck’ in public even before girls!


March Jauntiest: Now don’t start playing tutelary mamma to me! I live as I want to and I acquit on my whim. I have been in a co-ed school and I know how to behave with girls.


A Sandal Hunk: [To himself]: Lo and behold! I thought I was the only creature in the entire universe to have ever gone to a co-ed school!


A Sandal Hunk: Are you telling me that calling girls ‘sexy’ in public and that too loudly is a sign of good mannerism?


March Jauntiest: Take that or leave that I am as I am. Jeu d’ spirit is my forte.


A Sandal Hunk: What about this adulterous behaviour of looking for girls with sensuality when you already have a girlfriend?


March Jauntiest: Man is a polygamous, parlous and adventure loving creature. He has been so and will be so. Mind you! Moreover, I do this more often than not for my friends and colleagues and not for myself. You see-I am fortunate and handsome enough to have a girlfriend and persons like you; otiose and hoary in spirit (*cough*) cannot get one, so what I do is kind of philanthropy! I look for good girls and try to set an affair for my friends. Now, what is bad about that?  It’s kind of playing a broker without asking for brokerage you see!


A Sandal Hunk: Oh, why, thank you so much for your elucidations! I had considered this business of yours a mere buffoonery hitherto. I failed to look at the bright side!


March Jauntiest: Man, you fail to get the finer things of life. You better get out of your quotidian life style and become luxuriant like me.


A Sandal Hunk: What about sending flying-kisses to girls who are married?


March Jauntiest: Man, I have told you; you better get out of this rut of hoary mannerism. Get a life man; get a life! Live before you die!



A Sandal Hunk: [To himself] Why, 'Impropriety is mother of wit'!



A Sandal Hunk:Why do you speak so loudly and treat others’ personal space like your personal toilet?



March Jauntiest: It’s because I am sui-generis, wittiest, most intelligent and most sociable person the world has ever seen. I listen ( I overlook anything subtle or profound uttered by anyone else!) what I want to listen and I say what I like and I want most number of persons around me to listen what I say because my harangues are full of wit and wisdom and whatnot. You consider yourself a scholar and I feel that you’re a cartoon character rotting in a corner with no sense of humour and no life, you see! Get a life, man; get a life; before it’s too late.     


A Sandal Hunk: But at times, I find your behaviour of jumping to the conclusions too offensive. Without even allowing your interlocutor to complete, you rush in with your non-veg mastery and Freud would have been much delighted by attending your incisive repartees. You tend to assume that twitterverse is the only way of discussion?


March Jauntiest: As said earlier, somewhere, your way of speaking and your blabber about the attention span makes no sense to me. I talk for the sake of talking and not for earning a Ph. D. Mind you! I cannot wait for eons till dull retards complete their sentences!

A Sandal Hunk: [To himself] I used to think that attention span had to do something with meaningful long sentences and with splitting-hairs exegesis you get to the roots of subjects, but it seems I have to yet get a life!

image: here